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This book is the product of 40 years of pastoral experience. Anyone with experience leading people knows that how confidentiality is handled is critical to the culture of a group. Regardless of the caliber of individuals within an organization, how communication is handled has a tremendous impact upon the health of the group.

As a result of both his serving as a pastor, as well as a leader in several international networks of churches, Cameron Wright brings a unique perspective to handling confidentiality. Although his experience is in the Church, these 12 principles apply to any organization or group.

This book will equip pastors, leaders, and managers with tools to create and maintain a healthy culture within the groups they lead. This book is ideal for both new and experienced leaders, as these principles can be implemented within any organization. It is also an excellent resource for small groups and other training opportunities, to foster healthy confidentiality, control manipulation and gossip, and create a safe culture.

As a bonus, each of the 12 principles include discussion questions.

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What you’ll learn

  • #1 Words Have Power

    Proverbs 18:21, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.”

  • #2 No Secrets

    Anything said in a meeting, counseling appointment, or any other setting, may be shared within the exceptions outlined in this chapter.

  • #3 “May” does not mean “must”

    Each person has the permission to tell a spouse, parent, &/or pastor, but is not required. It would only be done in order to better respond to the problem, or deal with a personal need to process what has been heard.

  • #4 Naming someone includes them

     If someone brings up the name of someone else in a conversation, then that automatically gives you the permission to talk to that person about what has been said, and by whom. But does not require you to do so. 

  • #5 Subjective accuracy

    I believe whatever anyone tells me is accurate in their perception, but I also understand that it may not be accurate according to others' perception or objective reality.

  • #6 Verbal processing is normal and good

    Processing negative emotions is different from accusations and gossip.  It’s healthy to talk through negative emotions with someone you trust without fear of being accused of gossip or slander.

  • #7 No anonymous accusations

    No one is allowed to keep accusations anonymous, such as, “A lot of people think you’re handling this wrong.”  The response is: “Really, who?”  If they will not tell you, then they are usurping the authority of the person in leadership.

  • #8 Obey the law

    If the physical safety of someone is in question, or if child abuse is revealed, it is required in the USA that a pastor report it to the police.

  • #9 Respect other authorities

    Never listen to accusations concerning other ministries.  If they are talking to you about another ministry, they will talk in the same way about you to others.

  • #10 Collateral damage

    Almost always it is a third party that has heard a complaint or accusation that ends up being damaged.

  • #11 Pastors and leaders must be safe for others

    You MUST create a culture that coming to the pastor/leader with a complaint or disagreement is okay, and will not result in punishment.  

  • #12 No one is infallible

    Publicly communicate that you are not infallible. I can understand if someone doesn’t agree with me… often I don’t even agree with myself.